10 Things I’d Tell My Childless Self

Becoming a parent changes your life forever. Suddenly, you have this tiny human who depends on you for everything! There are happy moments, surprises, and challenges every day. Your child, or more specifically, parenting your child, will test you to the core of your being. Yet, being a parent is the most rewarding job in the world! So here are 10 things, with hindsight, I’d tell my childless self.

1. No Two Children Are The Same

Yes, even within the same family. They all develop at a different rate, have their own personality, likes, and dislikes. They’re not a copy of the parents either. You have to work with each child and their own personality and idiosyncrasies. And it’s all perfectly okay – just find your rhythm with each child, and they’ll thank you for it!

2. Doubting Yourself Means You’re a Good Parent – Really!

Even as a parent of four, the doubt creeps in on a daily basis. You should know it’s totally normal to doubt your choices as a parent. And there are so many decisions to make, whether it’s which school to choose or finding the sweet spot for screen time. The best thing to do is trust your gut instincts. And if that fails, fall back on your village for sound advice.

3. You Can Survive On Less Sleep Than You Imagined

Yes, sleep deprivation is real. And of course newborn sleep patterns are quite different to adults and can come as a surprise. But these early days fly by so quickly. This being said, if you’re really struggling with lack of sleep, then call in your family and friends to help take off the load.

4. Your Priorities Will Shift Dramatically

Becoming a parent brings real purpose to life, making the trivial things fall away to the backseat of your life. Your child will be your focus, your reason for living, and you would literally die for them. It’s a strange but powerful love! At the same time, you might find yourself mourning for the person you once were.

5. You’ll Need Your Partner Like Never Before

Lean on your partner for support, because you’re in this together. Having a regular date night can help cement your bond without the children around. You’ll love each other all the more and discover new facets of each other’s personalities.

6. Ask For Help – There Are no Medals For Struggling Alone

Don’t hesitate to ask for help if you feel you need it – taking care of children is hard! And it’s only in modern times that society has shifted away from sharing childcare amongst groups of women. Our brains are wired for that support.

7. Tap Into Childhood Wonder

There are so many ways to share in the joy that childhood brings. From helping them to blow a dandelion head, to watching snow together for the first time. Enjoy it while they’re small. After all, childhood is the shortest season.

8. Your Patience Will Be Tested Daily

Yes, the constant questions and whining can be hard to deal with. But remember that crying is another form of communication, and allows your child to let off steam. It’s a normal part of your child’s development. Without a doubt, controlling your own emotions is one of the most important aspects of parenting. You are your child’s fearless leader, after all!

9. Self-Care is Not a Luxury

Make time for yourself every day – it’s not selfish. You need that time to recharge and regroup. However you like to care for yourself, make it a priority.

10. Love, Love Love

When your kid tells you they love you for the first time, it makes everything worthwhile. Parenting is never easy, but they love you more than anyone else. And you love them back.

Nothing can prepare you for being a parent. It’s life changing in so many ways and you’ll learn more about yourself and your partner along the way. It’s unpredictable and beautiful, but that’s life and all part of the magic.

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About the author: Mum of four Helen runs her parenting blog over at https://www.morethanjellytots.com/.