As a mother, don’t you want to be, metaphorically speaking, as warm as a blanket on a cold day? Or a cooling and refreshing drink after a hot day out in the sun?
Mothers, working outside the home or otherwise, have to spend a huge amount of time with their children. This time can be spent in talking, playing, cooking or reading with them. It is not advisable to give them a phone or iPad and send them away. You could be making a fort with the sofa and the chairs and a blanket. You could be doing science experiments. The list goes on.
Related reading: How to Improve Parent-Child Relationships Using Tech Gadgets
Haven’t you seen very young children bubbling with excitement when narrating the incidents in their kindergarten? As they get old, the time spent in talking to their mothers gradually becomes smaller and smaller. If you are the mother of a teenager, you will be lucky if they so much as glance in your direction. But, when they talk, be all ears. Let nothing and no one distract you.
Have you felt outdated as a mother? Millions of mothers around the world would feel so. Technology is changing fast. It is difficult to accept some of these changes, but they are there whether you like it or not. Your children will look different, act different, and speak different from you. As long as they don’t stray from basic values such as respect, personal integrity and honesty, you have to accept change. This also means that you have to pay for Netflix and Spotify membership!
Respect should be mutual. If your teenager wants you to knock on their door before entering, you should do that. It means that you accept their individuality, their preference for some things, and their abhorrence for some other things.
You should be interested in what is happening in their lives. Who are their friends and teachers? What games do they play? What movies do they like to watch? What songs do they like to listen to? Which food do they like? It is not enough to be interested in their grades after each examination. Every aspect of their life should interest you.
As children grow older, sometimes, being silent is the best thing to do. This is especially true when your child has had a bad day at school. At such times, instead of nagging them to understand what exactly went wrong, sit with them silently, and let them know that you are there for them.
Physical touch is so very important with children. Your teenagers might balk at your attempts to hug them, but even they actually would like a hug, especially on difficult days. Smaller children definitely love hugs and cuddles. And a mother should be there to tuck a small child in and to kiss good night.
It may be counterintuitive, but children like structure and predictability. They should know what exactly will happen if they overstep their boundaries. What will happen if they don’t do their chores? Or if they refuse to stick to certain standards of behaviour? They should know.
It may not woke to say that mothers are food-givers, but it is a fact that in many households, mothers are in charge of providing good food. A caring mother would give healthy food that is tasty enough to rival fast food from KFC or McDonalds. Your children should look forward to meal times. Provide a variety of food so that they will be pleasantly surprised at meal times.
You don’t have to wait for a life-changing victory to celebrate. It could be as small as winning a goal at a football match. Or getting good marks in a class test. It is never advisable to give rewards for each achievement. Giving presents can be reserved for birthdays and Christmas. On other days, just a congratulations and a hug should suffice.
A good mother is also a very loving teacher. It could be everyday skills like how to brush their teeth, or how to wash hands properly. Take time and model the behaviour multiple times, until the child masters it. Verbal advice is not enough.
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