Seven Strategies To Support Your Child’s Perfectionism

Perfectionists are frequently children who are self-critical and frightened of making errors. Children who have perfectionism tend to be sensitive to criticism and judgmental of others.

Children who are afraid of failing frequently avoid taking healthy risks and attempting new things. Perfectionism has been linked over time to physical sickness, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.

How then can we support kids in overcoming their critical inner voices? to cultivate the self-compassion required for a contented, healthful life?

The good news is that with the right guidance and practice, kids may learn to overcome perfectionistic tendencies!

Here are seven easy strategies to help your child develop a positive self-image and overcome perfectionism.

Your child’s brain will be trained to become more capable of handling obstacles and setbacks, self-loving, and confident with the assistance of these imaginative, science-based activities.

1. Rethink What Success Is

Youngsters who approach life with a growth attitude are more likely to reach their full potential. Rather than attributing their success to innate qualities like intelligence or skill, they see it as the product of plans and hard work.

Youngsters with a growth mentality understand that obstacles and setbacks present opportunities for improvement and education.

Consider your child’s mistakes as a chance to educate them on how to attempt alternative approaches when the initial ones don’t work—how to take a step back and consider what to try next, much like a “detective solving a mystery.”

– Carla Dweck, a psychologist

Read and tell tales, watch programs, and engage in media where people learn from their mistakes and setbacks. Success, according to books like Barney Saltzberg’s Beautiful Oops and Ashley Spires’ The Most Magnificent Thing, is defined as attempting, failing, and coming up with a new idea.

Lastly, you might want to think about encouraging your youngster to send a letter to a friend who has just failed or faced adversity. Your youngster may discuss a growth mindset and explain to their buddy in the letter that success is about learning from setbacks.

2. Examine Their Thought Process

Youngsters who experience perfectionism often have negative, inaccurate self-perceptions. They frequently downplay the advantages and concentrate on the drawbacks.

When your child starts to think like a perfectionist, try not to panic. Take a deep breath and embrace this chance to be understanding and patient.

Sayings with empathy, such as “I know how hard it is to feel you’ve made a mistake” or “I can see you’re angry because you want this to be perfect,” may have a significant effect.

After your kid has calmed down a bit, ask them to consider one or more of the following questions:

What is the worst scenario that may occur?

Is there a more optimistic way of looking at this?

Which aspect of my issue could I now resolve?

3. Describe the Muscle of the Brain

Our minds develop stronger when we take on difficulties, much like our bodies do when we exercise.

Have a conversation with your youngster about the amazing capacity of his brain to develop. Remind him that learning occurs naturally and that the brain is always evolving.

Kids gain when they see failures and obstacles as necessary components of education. Our brains ignite and expand when we make mistakes, which speeds up our learning process.

Imagine how your brain grows as you overcome obstacles and acquire new skills. Proceed with your journey.

– Carla Dweck, a psychologist

Remind kids that with hard work and perseverance, they can “grow their brains” and learn anything they choose.

4. Discuss Your Errors

Tell your kid that errors are made by everyone. Remind them that we frequently gain more knowledge from our errors and setbacks than from our victories.

Pointing out your faults to your youngster is a simple technique to counteract their irrational self-expectations. Real-time problem-solving is encouraged. For example, you may say, “Oops! I just added too much flour to this recipe.”

Admitting fault and expressing regret to a child is considered one of the most significant gifts a parent can offer them. This is particularly potent since it allows the youngster to make mistakes. acknowledge one’s mistakes and remain forgiven.

– Medical professional John Gottman

Tell tales of your prior setbacks, such as the time you failed an exam or were late for a job interview due to getting lost while driving. Examine your feelings and the lessons you took away from them.

On the other hand, if your child confides in you about a mistake, sayings like “I’ve felt that way too, and it’s hard for a while” or “That sounds frustrating for you” might help them relate to your flaws.

5. Give Attention to Learning from Errors

The value of learning from mistakes was demonstrated by a recent study from Michigan State University. Children who had a growth mindset in the study were more likely to improve their performance after making mistakes because they showed a big brain reaction.

Remarkably, the study also demonstrated that kids with fixed mindsets may learn from their mistakes. But only if they looked closely at what went wrong. According to the present research, kids with fixed mindsets may still be able to recover just as well as their classmates who have a growth mindset if they learn from their mistakes.

How then can we assist kids in recognizing and growing from their errors?

Give them the chance to find out what went wrong with mistakes instead of brushing them off or avoiding confronting them. Good places to start are with statements like “Mistakes are opportunities—let’s explore this together” or “Let’s pay attention and figure out what happened.” 

6. Reinterpret Grades

Your child’s grade does not represent who they are or where they are right now. In the end, what counts is the development.

Parents and teachers might be curious about whether grading discourages development mindsets. However, rather than using grades to assess a child’s aptitude, we might see them as an indication of growth and development.

Discuss with your youngster the idea that their grades do not determine their potential or destiny. Only prior achievement is reflected in grades, which can provide valuable insight into our learning process.

Encourage your youngster to pose questions such as “What would I do differently this time?” instead of focusing on grades. or “What can I do to get a better score next time?”

Tests can cause worry, tension, and problems with self-worth. Let’s teach our children that they are more than just a test result.

7. Promote Self-Compassion

Children are taught to be kind to others from an early age. But teaching children to be good to themselves is an uncommon skill.

More than ever, kids need to be able to hear from the loving, gentle voice inside when they fail. Books like Listening with My Heart by Gabi Garcia or Moody Cow Learns Compassion by Kerry Lee MacLean might assist your youngster in comprehending the concept of self-compassion.

Next, list the encouraging phrases we would like to hear from parents or friends when we make a mistake or fail. What would a good buddy say to me about this, your youngster could wonder to himself. or “What my mother would say?”

Encourage your child to write in a notebook about an encounter that did not turn out the way he had hoped and how he could respond with self-compassion in that circumstance. Another excellent idea is to write a nice letter to himself explaining what he has learnt.

In summary:

Fighting perfectionism is an essential part of raising resilient and self-compassionate kids, and this becomes clear as we traverse the challenging terrain of raising them emotionally. The seven tactics listed above give parents a workable framework for enabling their kids to grow into growth mindsets, learn to accept failure and develop self-compassion.

Parents may help their children develop a positive self-image by reframing accomplishment, challenging negative thinking, and highlighting the brain’s capacity to learn from setbacks. Crucial components of this life-changing process include promoting self-compassion, redefining the importance of grades, and encouraging transparency about errors.

Finally, parents may use cutting-edge technologies like RapidoReach form builder to easily monitor and aid their kids’ progress, adding another level of knowledge and support to their learning process. When combined, these strategies help provide kids with a strong, resilient foundation that enables them to overcome obstacles, welcome change, and lead happy, purposeful lives.