Funny Trick Questions And One Liners

Funny Trick Questions And One Liners

• If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
• When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
• Another wise saying - old skiers never die, they just happen to go downhill.
• It was reported that when the cable guy got married the reception was brilliant.
• The best way to make antifreeze is to steal her blanket.
• It is well known that an office with few plug points and a large number of people, could face a power struggle!
• The child’s definition of a pediatrician is that he is a doctor of little patients.
• A woman complaining to her friend about the recent robbery at her house. They took virtually everything away from my house, except for my deodorant, shower gel, soap, shampoo and towels… dirty rascals.
• Did you hear about the cameraman who had a photographic memory which was never developed.
• Talking to her about computer hardware, I make my motherboard [bored].
• Did you know that the easiest way to stop a charging bull is to freeze his credit card?
• Nylons give women a run for their money.
• Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
• Ancient orators tended to Babylon.
• What is the cannibal's favorite game? It is called swallow the leader.
• Some people do not like food going to waist.
• If you give some managers an inch, they think they are a ruler.
• A lawyer for a church did some cross-examining.
• Do you know what happens to old burglars? They never die, they just steal away.
• Did you know that a plateau is the highest form of flattery.
• Compulsive illegal parkers experience parking zones syndrome.
• You feel stuck with your debt if you cannot budge it.
• Did you hear about the boy who was so poor while growing up, that he could not even afford to pay attention at school.
• Suppose a lawyer were to be disbarred, then, can a musician be denoted or a model deposed?
• A backwards poet writes inverse.
• Did you heat about the new knife that cuts four loaves of bread with a single cut, and is called a four-loaf cleaver?

• Two robbers with clubs went golfing, but they did not play the fairway.
• When chemists die, we barium [bury'em].
• A circus lion will not eat clowns because they taste funny.
• When the wheel was invented, it caused a revolution.
• Did you hear about the old termite who walked into a pub and asked, "Is the bar tender here?"
• It is said that seven days without a pun, can make one weak.
• A tattoo artist has designs on his clients.
• A lot of money is tainted. It taints yours and it taint mine.
• Did you hear about the circus that caught fire? The firemen said that the heat was intense.
• When they bought a waterbed, the couple started to drift apart.
• Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
• What you seize is what you get.
• A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
• Gardeners always know the ground rules.
• What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese.
• It is common for two banks with different rates to have a conflict of interest.
• When a new hive is done, bees have a house swarming party.
• Looting a drugstore is called Pillaging.
• Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
• Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
• A bachelor is a person who is footloose and fiancée-free.
• A music store had a small sign, which read: Bach in a Minuet.
• Did you hear about the ditch digger who was entrenched in his career?.
• Visitors to Cuba are usually Havana good time.
• What is a criminal's strength? It is his lie ability.
• Regular naps definitely prevent old age particularly if taken while driving.
• Did you know why we never have a shortage of math teachers? It is because they constantly multiply.
• A girl and her boyfriend went to a party as a barcode. They were an item.
• He had a photographic memory, but unfortunately, it was never developed.
• Santa Claus's helpers are called as subordinate clauses.
• What happened to the guy whose left side was cut off? Apparently, he is all right now.
• If you get to see one shopping center, then you have seen a mall [them all].
• Home is where you can say anything you want because no one listens to each other anyway.
• Finally, did you know that the Local Area Network, or LAN in Australia is popularly known as the LAN down under?